Unfortunately, my eBay habit has reared it’s ugly head again. I thought I had subdued the eBay. I flogged it grimly with the too-large jeans I bought, and finished by smacking it roundly upside the head with the too-small skirt. Clothes off eBay? Bad idea. Especially if, like me, you are too lazy to measure yourself with actual measuring apparatus. (In my defence, I don’t know where my sewing measuring tape is. I do, however, know where the toolkit measuring tape is. Good luck with getting a bendy metal strip wrapped tightly around yourself, because I’m not going there. Apologies all fetishists.)
I remember fondly the halcyon days of my beginnings with eBay. I would sit bolt upright, peering intently at the screen, doggedly sure that all sellers were out to fleece me and steal my bank account details, and quite possibly my kidney. I would buy only the things I most coveted, which I could not obtain through any normal retail channel, from sellers with about 3 million positive feedbacks, and only for amounts of money I was comfortable with throwing into the void. “Well, I’ll never see THAT again,” was my common thought after bidding. Damned sellers would always send me the item, as described, along with a friendly note, thus forcing me to begin the pained process of composing an original masterpiece of feedback where I tried to avoid long strings of AAAAAs compounded by +++++s. And so the slippery slope of dependence begins.
I developed cravings for things I never before noticed. Case in point: the vintage scales. I am very happy with my (many many sets of) scales, I am. My favourite ones are in the bedroom, holding all the spare change, just waiting for the fundraisers to ring the doorbell and set off the baying hounds of doom. (That would be the dogs, who take their doorbell duties very seriously.) Mr. T amuses himself by playing with the weights and seeing how many ounces of coins we have amassed. (Victoria is suffering a coin shortage. It is entirely our fault.) However I never needed or even wanted scales before I saw them on eBay. (Precedence dictates this sentence must be bracketed.) And now searching for the scales has again consumed my life.
It is small consolation to know I am not alone. I know eBay has consumed the lives of many. And I admit that I have encouraged at least two acquaintances to join me on the dark side. But this wanton consumerism must end! I am making a stand! No more ….. dammit, an outbid email. What fool dares to stand between me and retro kitchen accessories?
