Went to the football on Saturday night. I am tempted not to elaborate on the true nature of the game; since every nation calls it’s favourite ball game ‘football’, I could use this to my advantage to give this entry an air of cozy familiarity (or, as my favourite French girl at work said today, “a liking feeling”.) But as I live in the sporting monopoly that is Melbourne, EVERYONE knows the football is AFL, or Aussie rules, or just the footy. Anyway, I was offered football tickets at work on Friday for the Saturday game. I immediately became suspicious: “Who else is going?” (Code for: someone will be bringing clients, necessitating upright and sober behaviour.) No-one, I was assured; there were only four tickets and they were mine, all mine, to bestow on my minions as I pleased. Excellent. And it was not until the physical tickets were nestled in my hot little hand that I thought to ask the crucial question, the number-one issue that has no doubt occurred to everyone else but me … in a sports-mad office, where the footy tipping competition is more hotly anticipated than the financial results, why were these tickets going spare?
Because it was a crap game, that’s why. Two low-performing, low-rated teams, dueling it out for the honour of greatest level of incompetence in front of 30,000 people. (Geelong and Richmond, for the locals.) I reconsidered … for barely a second. I can hardly recognise a GOOD game of football when I see it. And two struggling and frustrated teams may very well explode into violence on the field, which is always compelling viewing. Also, consider the alcohol aspect. People, it’s win-win! Go Cats! (We barracked for Geelong because they were winning, and also there was a really annoying Richmond supporter/berater behind us. “You SUCK, Bowden! You’re a DUD! Get OFF the FIELD!” (Note: I cannot verify whether Bowden was indeed a dud, as I don’t know which player he was, or what position he played, or even if he was on the field at all. In fact, there may not even be a player called Bowden in the team.)) I don’t think I increased my knowledge of the game much, and I still don’t know the words to all the songs. But I DO know the tickets were free. And at the end of the day, isn’t the result that’s on the scoreboard all that really matters?
