We use our dogs as pawns in our petty games. Doesn’t everyone?
“How are the dogs?”
“They hate you. They’ve formed a secret club to plot against you.”
“Planning my surprise birthday party, is what they’re doing. They haven’t told you because you’re not invited.”
- –
“Did you miss me while I was away?”
“I was going to, but I never got around to it.”
“Well, how about the dogs? Did they miss me?”
“They hung around in the hallway waiting for someone to come home.”
“Awww. They missed me.”
“Actually, I think they were waiting for Santa.”
“Fair enough. He totally got away from them last Christmas. This year, they’ll be ready for him.”
- –
“What’s for dinner?”
“See that big brown animal in the garden over there?”
“That one?”
“He’s about the right size to fit on a spit roast, don’t you think?”
“He looks a bit stringy. I think we should leave him for a few more months to get some meat on him.”
“Well, he’s free range. I guess we could fatten him for a while.”
“OK then. So what’s for dinner?”
“See that little tabby animal asleep on the barbecue table over there?”
- –
“Go out and see what YOUR dog has done.”
“I don’t have a dog. I have a cat. See my good cat? Look how good he is. So, what has your dog has done now?”
“YOUR dog. He’s your dog. And you’d better get YOUR spade to fill in YOUR giant hole in YOUR lawn.”
“MY cat would never do such a thing. He’s a good cat. If you trained YOUR dogs better, YOU wouldn’t be going outside right now to fill in holes.”
