I broke the car stereo the other day. I didn’t mean to – - I was trying to figure out how to preset a radio station. Anyway. I must have pressed the wrong buttons together, or separately, or something. I don’t know, I was concentrating on DRIVING at the time, foolish as it now seems.
Jac: [presses several buttons at once, in manner of 50 year old who knows nothing about technology]
Stereo: [odd grinding sound]
Jac: Oh shit.
Stereo: LCD panel continues to say ’105.1 FM’
Stereo: LCD panel goes black
Stereo: LCD panel flashes up ’000000′
Jac: Oh FUCK. Mr. T is going to kill me. What in God’s name have I done – - do NOT cut in on me you madman, I am having a MUSIC EMERGENCY.
Stereo: [stereo face flips up, which is standard practice when it wants you to insert or remove a CD]
Jac: WHY do you want a CD? The White Stripes not good enough for you all of a sudden?
Stereo: [face flips down to regular position]
Stereo: LCD panel clicks over to ’000001′
Stereo: [face flips up again]
Stereo: [face flips down again]
Stereo: LCD panel clicks over to ’000002′
Jac: Oh CRAP. My stereo is possessed. Can I see my breath? Are there dead people?
Stereo: [face flips up again]
Stereo: [face flips down again]
Stereo: LCD panel clicks over to ’000003′
Jac: No really, this isn’t funny anymore. Stop it, you hairy bollock.
Jac: [presses all buttons madly, which is difficult when stereo is moving up and down constantly]
Jac: Oh crap. Oh crap. Please stop. You are not under warranty any more. Please STOP.
Stereo: [continues flipping up and down methodically, while counting up on the LCD panel]
Jac: OK, maybe when you get to 10 times? At 10 you’ll stop? Yes?
Stereo: [continues flipping. Number 10 comes up. Stereo continues flipping.]
Jac: You ARSE. Right. Traffic lights. Engine OFF.
Stereo: [flips down then stops]
Jac: Ah! Ah hah! AH HA HAH HAAHAH!
Jac: [turns car back on in giddy excitement]
Stereo: [resumes flipping like the creepy automaton it has become]
Jac: HAHAH … oh godDAMN you.
It did not stop flipping up and down until I got home, and made a serious attempt to prevent it from moving. It stopped on ’000056′, a number which I will be studiously avoiding from now on.
Ultimately, I had to sadly confess my technology sins to Mr. T, which I REALLY didn’t want to do. He went out there and shoved the end of a paperclip into the restart button, which erased the demon part of the memory like it had never happened. Restart button, I love you. Never leave me again.
Seriously, how did I not find you before??
This post almost made me cry. Well, no, it made me snort my coffee into a funny place, which almost made me cry.