Black Dog Down

So my Black Dog is allergic to fleas. This is why we bomb both Dogs and the Cat with fleastuff, which is a pain as then they smell all chemical-y. They don’t like it much either. But unfortunately, a flea or similar has found a home on the Black Dog. First we knew of it was when I went to pat him and found a bald patch on his leg, about the size of a Mint Slice. (God, I’m hungry.) He had worried it badly; so we made a vet appointment for the next day. And then we put some boxers on him. Because we like to humiliate him no, well yes, but this was to stop him further nibbling on the wound in the night.

Come this morning, I get up and find the Black Dog is NAKED. He has shed his boxers in the night and has chewed diligently on his haunch until it resembles a goddamned war zone. I freely admit I was embarrassed to take him to the vet. Who, as usual, was very lovely and expressed sympathy and gave Black Dog an injection to stop him itching and some soothing oatmeal lotion. Then smacked me with an $85 bill. These animals are really putting a damper on my financial ability to buy hard drugs computer peripherals. (Yes I HAVE discovered the strike command. I will be sick of it soon, I promise.) So I took the Black Dog and his lotion home, fixed Mr. T with a creepy stare and told him, “It puts the lotion on the dog”.

Nobody appreciates me, really.