five improbable questions

The Rules:

Attempt to answer the questions as truthfully as possible. The first person to request/comment in the post for 5 questions is duly emailed another 5 you send. Little Jack Paulson failed to pass the questions on and got syphillis, scurvey and was killed by a freak Buffalo stampede during rush hour in downtown San Francisco.

Question 1: Despite the song, in my experience girls are not made of “sugar and spice and all things nice”. Suggest what you, as a girl, are really made of.

I must point out that, by definition, you as a male can never know the definitive composition of a girl. By attempting to watch and understand the girl, you as the observer are causing disturbances and become involved in the reaction. So, in essence, girls are made of boxes with cats inside. QED.

Question 2: Your and your boyfriend are trapped in an avalanche (Yes, I know you live in Melbourne but work with me here). You are forced to eat him. Suggest a suitable aperatife, main course of boyfriend, drink and dessert.

It is perfectly possible for us to be trapped in an avalanche, given our propensity for outdoor pursuits of the foolhardy variety. However I am obliged to point out that, since I am by far the smaller and weaker of the pair of us, I am exponentially more likely to be consumed. But assuming that Mr. T has been felled by a blow to the head or something, I would begin my dining with an aperitif of fresh snow, to cleanse my palate. Moving onto the main course, I believe I would dig deep for the liver (I hate liver, but Mr. T insists I try some every time he orders it, so I think he would appreciate the symbolism here). Dessert: wracking guilt, maybe followed by a little cartilage.

Question 3: Comet hurtling to Earth. You have 2 hours. What do you do?

I’m a comet? Cool. I guess I would flame awesomely, loom ever larger over the earth, then enter the atmosphere to slam instantaneously into the ground and vaporise everything in my path. Oh, and I’d totally fuck with the ionosphere, too.

Question 4: You can any superpower. Name it, and do you use it for good or for awesome?

I think I’d go for flight. Which is ironic (don’t you think?), considering I come from the Spiritual Home of the Bungee and yet would never attempt one. Those people are all fucking mad. I’m just sayin’.

Question 5: Australians – Excellent wine makers and Cricket Players or deluded, beer swilling ex-convicts?

Australians are not in my good graces at the moment, due to a trifling event called the Tri-Nations. (South Africans either, so watch yourself.) So I’m going with the beer-swilling convicts. Also, I am hating the Australian medal count already – they barely bother to count the silvers and bronzes. It’s gold or nothing. Show offs.

Questions courtesy of Dark

Unforgivable tardiness in responding due to me, sadly

2 comments to five improbable questions

"Make a remark," said the Red Queen: "Its ridiculous to leave all conversation to the pudding!"




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