Let x = 1. (Wait, I’ve channeled into the panicky exam dreams of my youth. Am I wearing underwear? Thank God.)
If x = 1, then x = a – y where a = inputs and y = outputs.
1. Inputs:
- 1 x dinner of beef stroganoff. (I feel compelled to mention the sour cream was a week out of date. Hopefully dinner will remain an input rather than an output.)
- liquids = well, I haven’t actually drunk anything tonight. All our cans of Coke are frozen into the layer of beer at the bottom of the beer fridge. Let’s call this even.
- 1 x “Without A Trace” episode, involving child’s inhumanity to child. If you’re a boy who is mean to girls, apparently the girls will tie you up in a stable and kick dirt on you. I can’t promise this will happen to you, though.
- 1 x interminable work day, including three “Low on Virtual Memory” messages and a forced network shutdown.
2. Outputs:
- 4 x vague intentions to visit the gym and inflict swimming-type exercise upon my body.
- 1 x tuneless humming noise as I type. Seems to resemble Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer”.
- 1 x large tropical fish soft toy costing $4, meant as a treat for the Black Dog, who loves soft toys. Unfortunately when my back was turned, the Brown Dog brazenly stole it off the kitchen table and raced it outside, where it may or may not still be in possession of either of it’s eyes.
- 1 x Father’s Day card, costing me $3.50 and 14 precious minutes of my life trying to choose from the barren selection available. All Father’s Day cards involve either golf or cars, neither of which my Dad feels strongly about. In the end I got him one of those nauseating cartoon cards, intended to be given by a very young child. He’s used to my ways, he’ll like it.
3. Conclusion:
- on average, inputs = outputs
- equations cancels to a null result
- begin formula again tomorrow.
ahh yes, fathers day. i too gave my dad a card which was like “ask me to do anything today” and then the card opens “and i’ll pass it onto mum” kinda thing.
As for the gift, dad gave mum a list, now normally lists are great, except when i asked mum what was on the list, she said its just a bunnings catelogue with things circled in it. So i figured she would buy 99% of those, so i went and bought him Dune on DVD. I thought i had a winner, but obviously not. Mum bought it for him… so now im going to buy him the X-men boxset instead. even though he already has Xmen2 but i couldnt get it to play in the DVD player.
I watched that episode of Without a trace. Princess on the white horse with the pink helmet. and possibly the only good line “hey dog” “Hey” “are you a dog?” “no” “you answered, he’s your biscuit!”
(whoo. long comment!)