tally ho

Well it is racing season here in Melbourne, the Spring Racing Carnival to be exact. I’m not much into the racing, truth be told. If I wanted to get all dressed up and get incoherently drunk, I’d do it at night, rather than the cruel glare of day … wait, I do. So the daytime drunken revelries hold little appeal, and I’m not a fashionista, and I find gambling a tad boring. But give me free tickets and I’m there!

So it was that Mr. T and I frocked up and headed along to Derby Day last Saturday, ostensibly the most serious and racing-oriented event of the season (because it has the most expensive entry tickets, is my guess). Mr. T is in serious martial arts mode and trained for 4 hours on Saturday morning, and when he came home he sat on the floor and wouldn’t get up. I was fully ready and had rung the taxi, and I stomped my heel-clad foot and forced him into the shower. People, I had braved the throngs of Myer and bought a feathery headpiece thing the night before – don’t tell me about the fighting and the exhaustion and the sneak attacks and the adrenaline. I’VE BEEN THERE. And did he have to fight frantic women and attempt to match the colour of a red-orange dress? He did not. I care not for his deep-muscle bruising and grazed knuckles – he didn’t even NOTICE my hat.

Derby Day had beautiful weather, great food, seats directly opposite the winning post – we drank, we ate, we drank more, we bet money and we lost money. Apparently picking your horses on whether they come from New Zealand or not isn’t the sure-fire winning technique I thought it would be. Who knew? And yet picking random numbers won me the table betting pool, giving me $50 on the last race to send us all home in a winning way. You know what I did. I wish I could say I didn’t, but I did. So we all drank more until they closed the bar, then we came home on a packed, packed train (note to revelers: singing “Advance Australia Fair” on the train home is deeply, deeply sad and I would have pitied you all if I could have stopped laughing) and once I got home, I thankfully kicked off my shoes and took photos of all the pets wearing my hat.