You will all be pleased to know that my cold has subsided somewhat. Now I am only sneezing occasionally, which is giving my stomach muscles a much-needed break. Because you know those little cat sneezes? Where people delicately hold back their sneezes, emitting instead a muffled squeaky splutter? Yeah, I can’t do those. All my sneezes are the double-barrelled spit flinging sort. Several times today I came close to knocking myself out on my own computer monitor as my head snapped forward involuntarily mid-sneeze. I’m strangely proud.
This Easter we will be camping for several days near Mount Baw Baw, so if you’re in the area, feel free to drop by. I’m hoping it won’t rain, as wet dogs in the tent make for a humid and cramped experience. Yes, of course the dogs are coming. We’re smuggling them in by pretending they are travelling rugs. With animatronic eyes. Either that, or our supply of fresh meat. What? Either one of those fine animals would make an excellent spit roast.
And on a final Easter note, I am proud to say that my consumption of Lindt bunnies is in SINGLE FIGURES. I’d like to thank the Academy, and my cold for deadening my sense of taste. Thank you and goodnight! [exit stage left, detour to slap Billy Crystal, exit stage right escorted by security].
