Things I did Yesterday

Thing I did Yesterday #1:
I posted my family’s Christmas presents yesterday (well Mr. T did. I delegated. It was an executive decision. Middle management, here I come!) As long as everything doesn’t smash into a thousand tiny pieces, I am pretty pleased with my efforts. My parents are going up to the bach for Christmas (that’s a beach house, or shack, in translation for international guests) so their presents have to reach them in the next 10 days. That’s a big call for Australia Post, who SUCK. If they can rouse themselves to get the box over to New Zealand, it will be delivered, because New Zealand Post is FAST and GOOD. Australia? SUCK. (Note to Australia Post: please don’t smash my box of presents out of spite. Or incompetence.) New Zealand doesn’t even have postcodes/zipcodes/area codes, for God’s sake, and the mail always turns up. I once addressed an envelope using Roman numerals and pictograms, and it was delivered. Correctly.

Thing I did Yesterday #2:
I fed the dogs last night (chicken wings) but there wasn’t quite enough. So I threw some pasta on to boil with plans of adding in some leftover mince. Then I wandered away. After a while, a dog came up the hall to find me. “Hello dog!” I said. “Did you eat your dinner? Did you like your dinner? Did you? Did you? Did you? Answer me!” The dog whined at me and wandered away again. See, I remembered feeding the dogs. The dogs had eaten chicken. I remembered nothing else. Until I smelled burning. Of course, I burned the ever-loving FUCK out of the pasta. The back of the house was filled with a greyish haze. “You!” I yelled accusingly at the smoke detector. “You go off like an air raid siren whenever I open the oven, but when there is actual SMOKE you remain silent? J’accuse!” Then I scraped out the thin layer of pasta which had not yet adhered to the bottom of the saucepan, added the mince and some supplements, and fed the dogs again. I like to think the burnt bits added flavour. Or character. Or carcinogens.

3 comments to Things I did Yesterday

"Make a remark," said the Red Queen: "Its ridiculous to leave all conversation to the pudding!"




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