I liiiiiive! Actually, I live quite well. I’m in New Zealand on holiday. I quite forgot to tell anyone I was going, including the Internet. More importantly, I forgot to tell my across-the-road neighbour who collects our mail and when I went to tell him on the day we were leaving, he was on holiday himself. Oops. However HIS next-door neighbour, owner of Sack Dog, was out watering his garden and was only too pleased to oblige. As for you, Internet, since you offered neither to collect my mail nor water my front garden, you didn’t get any sort of notice at all.
I would here show you photos I’ve taken so far, but I am on my mum’s computer and it has dial-up. Remember dial-up? I didn’t until I got back here. OH GOD. It’s SO SLOW. I am hobbled. I’ve just spent 45 minutes reading 25 emails, leaving about 80 unread and that’s only one of my email addresses. The Yahoo one. Damn Yahoo. I haven’t read web email for a year, since our last sojourn to NZ, and I’d forgotten how tedious and painful it is. Also, subliminally I now want a Virgin credit card. No I don’t! No I don’t! Damn you Internet Explorer and your crappy, crappy ads! I should install Firefox on mum’s computer I suppose, but really I should just turf it into the nearest landfull. I think I’m getting viruses just by sitting near it.