Well, it’s time to take a blogging break. Yes, I realise it looks like I already am; it’s Christmas and my city is covered in bushfire smoke. I sneezes nine times today. I counted. Anyway, I plan to do nothing involving a computer for several weeks. CAN I MAKE IT? Experts say ‘hell no’. Yet I will do my utmost to avoid the lure of the interweb. As part of this ‘no computer holiday’ I have cleared off the camera memory card for your enjoyment:

For Zoe, and the Camper meme. Long may it live! Hey, did you know shoes are really hard to take pictures of when you’re wearing them? Also, what the hell has bitten me all up my calf? Those look like fangs. Yet I feel fin– I VANT BLUUUUUUUD! GIF ME BLUUUUD! … Well. Excuse me. Can’t think what happened there.
As I was saying, these are my Christmas Campers! With cows! By the way, if you google “camper shoes cows” you will be taken straight to the world authorities on the matter; namely, Laura and myself. We’ll take questions from the floor in just a moment.

I took lots of pics of the new place. I can’t decide whether I am a midget or whether my bed is just really, really big. (Answer: both are true. Also, a tilted mirror gives a whole new perspective on your importance in the world.) And yes, that IS a birdcage filled with Christmas ornaments. What? You don’t have one? Better get on that.

“Yeah, um, that whole thing where I couldn’t stand or walk for six months? Let’s just forget it and move on. I feel pretty stupid about the whole thing. Sorry about the distress and the intensive nursing and the thousands of dollars and stuff.”

Absolutely everything you see here (bar the wall heater) was bought from eBay. I am LIVING THE DREAM, people. The dream of SPENDING MONEY whilst SITTING ON MY ARSE. What? That’s someones’s dream, I’m pretty sure.

Have a wonderful Christmas and Festivus everyone! I’ll return in January. Honest.

it’s all about ME!

I went Christmas shopping today and bought myself a some sunglasses and a pair of Campers. I don’t think I’ve got the hang of this whole ‘giving’ thing. Further evidence as shown…

Xmas Stocking
leave a gift for jac

your username:
your gift: (30 characters or less)

get your stocking
dating website

Stolen from Elie! Ah, the true meaning of Christmas…

it’s fun to stay at the …

I like to prove dogpossum wrong … there’s more than just cat pictures on the interweb! There’s art, too!

I got mine from here.

where’s the camera when i need one

… for example, when I’m in the car and am passed by a fully laden ute in the next lane, complete with mattress tilted at a precarious angle over everything else in the tray. Ah, moving house. Sunny Saturdays are for moving. Good thing it’s not rain…. hey. Let me just get a bit closer there… no! Surely not? That’s not… yes it IS!

The load was held down, not with rope or occi straps as I had assumed but … packing tape. Brown packing tape, wound around the mattress and stuck to the sides of the ute, then ripped off. Tape. TAPE.

Needless to say, I changed lanes and got away from that trainwreck as fast as I could. Packing. Tape. I know Australians are proud of their ingenuity, but there’s a fine line heading over into stupidity, and that line is clearly marked. By a strip of packing tape.