So I have been communicating solely by text messages and raised eyebrows across function rooms. Yes, I have been ‘locked down’ in a ‘team workshop session’ over multiple days. It’s a good thing they let me out when they did. I had almost completely lost my sense of irony. I had started to believe in the validity of words like ‘premiumisation’. I had eaten so much function food that I leapt hungrily on the tiny unripe strawberries served as sandwich garnishes. But I’m free now. Free! It feels like a whole week has gone by and it’s only Wednesday.
I went to the supermarket on the way home, as I have no food but more importantly I have run out of V and I can’t survive without an energy drink in the mornings. Only work mornings though. I think of it as a Berocca plus a coffee, which is pretty much true. A bit more sugar than that perhaps – maybe a Berocca plus a Coke. Anyway, the travelator was BROKEN AGAIN OH GOD WHY DO I RETURN TO THIS PLACE but before that, I went to the attached Target. There was a big Stella McCartney sign out the front, at which I snickered. For those who may not be aware, Stella McCartney did a limited clothing range for Target and it sold out within minutes on its opening day, a couple of weeks ago. So I wandered into Target and lo, there was lots of Stella clothing including the much-coveted ‘silk’ trench coat, which sold out nationwide in eight minutes. Heh. I picked up a bunch of clothes and traipsed off to try them on. How could I not? The nation went spare over these! They sold on eBay for hundreds of dollars above retail! Insane.
So I tried on the trench coat first, as the easiest item to put on. It was a size Small and I looked like an orphan child wrapped in a nylon tablecloth. The thing had long gathered sleeves and odd bows on the shoulders and I looked completely ridiculous. It just was huge on me. Same with the size Small top I tried on, which was loose and drapey but on me looked like an ill-fitting maternity shirt. I gathered it and tied it down on my hips with the belt tie. I looked like an ineptly furled umbrella. Oh well. Onto the dress, which was a size 8. This one actually fit me, but looked like a piece of crap. I don’t do drapey fabrics very well, because I am extremely short and end up looking like a dumpling. Stella, you have failed me! I returned my crap selection to the attendant, who took them, looked at me, reached behind her and handed me a wool/cashmere coat, which had just come in as a return. Size 8. Fit like a glove. Target saleslady, I hate you.
Apart from that, nothing of note has been happening. I just spilled yoghurt all down my front while typing that. So, I mean, I guess that’s something. Daylight savings finished this weekend, and it was dark by about 7pm on Monday night, and I couldn’t figure out what was going on. Oh yeah. Seasons. Roll on winter.
Sun through the trees.