Another weekend over already? I don’t understand. Why does this keep happening?
I went down the Great Ocean Road on Saturday and went on the Otways Fly. Not a giant insect created by science; instead, a network of catwalks miles above the forest so you can see the view and not disturb the ecosystem. Although really, all you do is look down and shit yourself at how high up you are. I was not alone. Actually I didn’t mind the flywalk; what I did mind was climbing the turret up to the really high bit, and only because it swayed alarmingly in the wind. But the weather was really nice and I got some good photos, and hey, I’m not dead. I lost my sunglasses though.
Also, on one of the information signs was details about the animals and birdlife you might see; birds, spiders, ghost shrimp. You think I am joking but I am not. Our favourite, though, was the carnivorous Otway Black Snail. Awesome name. And guess what we saw???
AIIIEEEE!!! He is lunging for my jugular!
Flee! Flee for your lives!
Oh god, I don’t want to admit how long we stood by the side of the path and made jokes regarding killer snails. You may have some idea of my capacity to entertain myself endlessly; multiply that by a strong desire to kill time before climbing onto an incredibly high deathtrap and you have some idea of the state I worked myself into.
And just in case you think I am misrepresenting the height of this: I stood on one catwalk and made the others go to the (slightly lower, but otherwise exactly the same) observation deck opposite me. Then I leaned over the edge as far as I could and took this photo. I think this was when I lost my sunglasses, because I sure as shit wasn’t paying any attention to anything but my own person falling over the edge.
There’s a snail waiting for my body at the bottom, I know it.