I get nabloplomo and movember mixed up. Throw in some ‘o’s and I’m all askew. Also, I’m not signing up for either. My work is a massive Movember sponsor and I have received no less than a dozen emails asking me to sign up to someone’s team, including the CEO. (Disclaimer: probably was not the CEO, but whatever.) Keep in mind that most guys LOVE growing moustaches and you can imagine my workplace will be a sort of throwback to the seventies in several weeks. And they TOUCH them all the time. Creepy. I keep yelling, “Nya-ah-ah! It is I, Dishonest John!” but they are all youngsters barely out of short pants and they look at me blankly.
I counted out all the change lying around the house and took it all to the bank again this morning. Then a collector came to the door tonight, gamely standing his ground with only a screen door between him and what must have seemed to be a Hound of Hell, baying and stamping and puffing gusts of hot breath through the wire . And of course I had no change to give him. I scraped up some gold coins from the bottom of my handbag (thinking “bugger there goes my parking money”) and wished him godspeed. Well, I had to do something, brave soul that he was.
I made spaghetti sort-of-carbonara onight for dinner OH MY GOD THE CAT HAS JUST POKED HIS HEAD OUT FROM UNDER THE COUCH, DIRECTLY UNDER ME, THAT WAS REALLY SURREAL and had to pour out the bacon fat after I cooked the bacon. I won’t pour fat down the sink and hate figuring out what to do with it. This time, I poured it directly onto the slice of roast pork saved from last night’s roast, and destined for the dog’s dinners. They should treat me like a GOD. …oh wait, they do.
Whilst cooking, I forced iTunes to play the soundtrack from Across the Universe, which was better than I was expecting. However it’s quite a short soundtrack, and by the time I had finished cooking and had moved to the lounge for eating, iTunes had moved on to the next A, which was Aerosmith. And I would not get up and change it. (The collector guy arrived right in the middle of Love In An Elevator, and I was slightly embarrassed, but not enough to hit shuffle.) Then two songs I did not know came on, and this is because we have the Billboard Top 100 Hits from every year from 1980 – 2003, which is way, WAY too much 80s and 90s music. iTunes tells me this was After 7, a group I have never heard of, but I do know that they had a top 100 Hit in both 1990 and 1995. It was awful, and I was sort of twitching, but I STILL would not get up to change it. Now we are onto Air, more specifically the Virgin Suicides soundtrack, and I like Air but this is quite maudlin and I am close to despair. Woe! Hopefully we will move onto something good soon.
I just checked, and you know what it is?
Send help. Or someone able to hit a Shuffle button.