What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now?
The green minty Lush one – Demon in the Dark? It doesn’t last long enough though.
Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?
Yes! I should go and EAT IT!
What would you change about your living room?
Less dog hair. Cleaner fireplace. I don’t mind it, apart from that.
Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?
No dishwasher… and I don’t think there are any dishes in the sink (because I ate leftovers for dinner, ahahaha!)
What is in your fridge?
Cheese, cheese, milk, cheese, condiments, aforementioned watermelon, I think a green vegetable or two, eggs, cheese.
White or wheat bread?
I prefer white bread, but will eat multigrain if feeling glum.
What is on top of your refrigerator?
Massive amounts of dust, tall jar of spaghetti because it won’t fit in the cupboards, multivitamins and various jars of whey protein powder stuff (which belong to Mr. T, obviously).
What colour or design is on your shower curtain?
Glass door over thebath, thank god. I always hated the way the shower curtain would gently touch you with its clammy fingertips, then suddenly suction itself to you and stick all the way up your back. Brrrrr.
How many plants are in your home?
In the actual house? Four succulents, a jasmine plant in a wire hen (I should take a photo of that one), baby’s breath in the bottom of the birdcage (ditto photo), tall skinny succulent-like thing in the lounge that’s losing it’s green through lack of direct sunlight. I think that’s all, but it’s probably not.
Is your bed made right now?
Um. Yeah, of course it is.
Comet or Soft Scrub?
What are these, cleansers? Jif. Which to you Comet people means peanut butter, and IT SERVES YOU RIGHT.
Is your closet organized?
No. And neither is the wardrobe. In fact the door came off its runner about a week ago and I haven’t bothered to get Mr. T to put it back in. I heaved the door over to his side so that you can’t get in — he hasn’t noticed yet.
Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?
Glass. I can’t remember the last time I drank out of plastic, unless you mean a plastic bottle?
Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?
Why the hell would I?
If you have a garage, is it cluttered?
Lack of garage, hence the cluttered house and the camping equipment piled up in the spare room.
Curtains or blinds?
Curtains in the bedroom, nothing on any of the other windows.
How many pillows do you sleep with?
Do you sleep with any lights on at night?
No, although I can.
How often do you vacuum?
Never, ever enough. Hence the Roomba.
Standard toothbrush or electric?
Normal. There is an electric one somewhere in the bathroom cabinet. I could look for it, if you’d like.
Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?
Yes, a coir one. Covered with leaves. Very welcoming, I’m sure.
What is in your oven right now?
Three roasting pans (clean).
Is there anything under your bed?
Chore you hate doing the most?
I hate vacuuming because it never ends.
What retro items are in your home?
More than I care to admit. eBay, you are my weakness.
Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?
Oh, of course. It’s right upstairs next to the gift wrapping room. I just haven’t found the stairs yet.
How many mirrors are in your home?
Um… five, I think, if you count the little inset mirror in the mantlepiece of the fireplace. And why not.
What colour are your walls?
Cream, with a mud coloured feature line at dog height. (Actually I’ve just scrubbed that off. AGAIN.)
Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?
The hell? I think Mr. T has a bat or an axe handle or something.
What does your home smell like right now?
Favorite candle scent?
I don’t like scented candles much, sorry.
Ever been on your roof?
How many TVs do you have?
How many house phones?
Four, because the base unit came with three extras. We only use one.
Do you have a housekeeper?
No. Are you offering one?
What style do you decorate in?
You are too kind. ‘Style’ presumes too much.
Do you like solid colours in furniture or prints?
Solids, although some prints I like. Mainly I’m too chicken to decorate in prints.
Is there a smoke detector in your home?
Yes, although I haven’t heard it go off lately. Either we’re burning less food, or the battery is dead.
In case of fire, what are the items in your house which you’d grab if you only could make one quick trip?
The backup hard drive, the photo albums, and I’d herd the animals out the door in front of me. Who am I kidding, they’d be out long before I would.