how did I get here?

My internet is intermittently phasing in and out and it is KILLING me. This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife. I am trying to DO STUFF here, internet! I mean, the correct thing to do here is turn the internet off, but it is patently obvious that I don’t know how to do that.

I have spent an horrific amount of money lately and it needs to stop. I aimlessly wander through the internet and then I BUY IT. Just like other people wander through stores, only I am too lazy and busy to do this. Actually I was wandering through Target at one stage, minding my own business, when a saleslady of advanced age came up to me. She was brandishing those PixiFoto portraits that Target had at one stage, trying to sell me a photo package. “Would you like these beautiful family portraits?” she asked me, waiving a large portrait shot of two mildly ugly children in my direction. I opened my mouth to say, “But I don’t even know those people!” then snapped it shut again. But really, I should have said it. I really DIDN’T know those people.

I think I have had too much sugar today. This is rating up there with the day I had a bottle of V at work (energy drink, similar to Red Bull but not as horrible); and the bottle is significant as it’s twice as large as the can. Then, as you do, I bought a bottle of red ice tea at lunch, but I failed to see that the ice tea contained guarana. And really, why would I look for that? Who would expect ice tea to contain guarana? Who would put that into tea? Anyway, after the equivalent of 4 energy drinks, I was a wired mess and couldn’t sit still. I basically kept printing things out, one page at a time, so I could stomp the length of the building to the printer and work off some energy. I feel sort of like that, but for no reason. Rarg! Hulk smash!

Also, I am allergic to something and have little itchy hive things. I never react to anything, so this is odd. (First person to suggest I am allergic to the carpet and should stop rolling on it gets a DEATH STARE from me. Only because this started before we had the carpet laid… don’t think I hadn’t thought of it.) I think it might be the soap I’m using, so I went back to the original soap. Hopefully this works out for me as otherwise I am out of ideas. Anyway, being itchy is not fun and I don’t enjoy it. If I get hayfever next I will not best be pleased. Oh, this paragraph should really be in the post below, as it’s something I’m annoyed about, but really this whole blog is Something I’m Annoyed About so I don’t feel I’ve miscategorised.