these pretzels are making me thirsty

I didn’t want to make dinner tonight, so I bargained my way out of it by saying I would take the dog for a run. I shouldn’t have done that really. It is fucking cold outside. However! I didn’t have to make dinner! And due to the aforementioned cleaning rule, I don’t have to clean the kitchen either! Sometimes life just gives you lemonade.

Oh, apart from the whole “run with the dog in the cold” thing, which is more a lemon than lemonade. If you’re interested (and you’re not) I’m doing the Couch to 5K thing, which in theory takes you from a sedentary couch-loving life (it doesn’t mention the internet but I’m sure it’s implied) to a sporty 5 kilometre running machine in nine weeks. Some American fellow has made free podcasts of each week of the program on iTunes, which are set to really uninspiring techno background music, but they tell you when to run and when to stop. I like the stopping. The dog likes the stopping too, as he gets to sniff and wee and turn in circles and stuff. Unfortunately he doesn’t pull me along during the running bits, useless animal that he is. He trots along without a care in the world, while I labour along beside him taking great heaving breaths and shuffling along like a zombie. (I do this in the dark, for added zombie effect. Also see above: it is fucking cold and WINTER, which means it’s always dark.) However I’m up to Week Four (don’t ask me how many weeks it took me to get to week four; I don’t want you to feel embarrassed for me) and that has multiple five-minute runs and I RAN THEM. ALL. I am a FITNESS GOD. I don’t know what that makes my exponentially fitter dog; the Creator? Thor? Maybe I am just one of the minor gods. That sounds about right. I’ll need to practise my smiting before I can work my way up the god pantheon.

Not a god. Not a superhero, either, despite appearances.

5 comments to these pretzels are making me thirsty

  • God it’s like my house, superheroes just hanging in the loungeroom.

    But well done on the running. Seriously. 5ks is a long time to maintain shuffling zombie characteristics.

  • Mal

    “Who cooks – cleans” sounds like a good rule. Too bad I’m here on my own! Pooh! hahahahaaaa.

    Enjoy those runs too. At least the woof woof is getting some exercise as well?

    Thanks yet again for your Flickr gift – I’m still totally bowled-over by your generosity! Thank you!

    Mal :)

  • Playing the tank game? Why do men love that thing so much? I’m terrible at it.

  • livebird

    You know, one of the reasons I got my mp3 player was so I could concoct some sort of soundtrack to my otherwise dismal, uninspired and whining attempts to Get Fit. I had visions of putting together a playlist with some chilled out tracks that I actually like spliced with super high energy punk rock bits that are cues to run, ahem, zombie shuffle.

    The closest I got was programming a playlist called “Run, Forrest, Run!” which has tracks with a tempo vaguely corresponding to my footfall (ie, pretty darn largo, lento and adagio). Then I didn’t use it.

    So, I’m going to give this one you mention a burl. Even though I loathe techno – maybe the loathing will help the lumbering along? If I hate it, I’ll blame you. And then I’ll run after you hurling abuse. Mkay?

  • actually this whole “Couch to 5K thing” sounds cool, is it on iTunes or just a random website?

"Make a remark," said the Red Queen: "Its ridiculous to leave all conversation to the pudding!"




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