Why hello. I am here. What have we been doing? Have we been running? Not noticeably, thanks to the long streak of rainy days Melbourne has had. (Did it rain today? No. Did I run today? No. Shut up.) So we are still on week four of the podcast. It’s lonely here. Four is the loneliest number.
Speaking of hiding indoors, I trialled the 2-week free Quickflix DVD thing, and it expired on Monday. Expired, meaning, unless I cancel it they will, as a “service”, sign me up to an account and charge me money. So on Friday I went on the internet and clicked the “cancel my subscription” button. It went… to a page telling me to ring customer support between the hours of 9am and 5pm.
May I remind you, denizens of the web, that this is an INTERNET-BASED BUSINESS. You choose movies and write reviews on them and queueue(ueue) them to your heart’s desire, all within the confines of your computer. But to cancel I have to ring a phone number? Within business hours? And quite possibly sign me up and charge me in the interim, requiring me to fight to get that money back? Oh no. No no no. I am NOT impressed. So I ring on Monday morning, at 9.10am or so, only to have the phone go through to a “press the buttons” service (“press 6 to unsubscribe” – maybe six is the loneliest number?) and then the phone rings. And rings and rings and rings. And rings. And then it goes back to the options menu, requiring me to press 6 again. And it rings. And rings ringsringsrings. And then I am back and I press 6. Argh! It is like “Lost”! I am in a bunker, I swear it! After 28 minutes of this (I am tenacious) I finally hung up and went to get something to drink. I no longer work with alcohol and never have I regretted it so much. After half an hour or so I rang back, and after only 16 minutes or so I got through to a person. Who promptly unsubscribed me, no questions asked. So. WHY COULDN’T I DO THAT ON THE INTERNET? Fuckers. I watched 6 movies in the two weeks and one of them had Lindsey Lohan in it and I really don’t think it was worth the pain.
Hmph. So, what else? Oh, this is me. Although not really. The avatar people don’t have my hair. What, limp and straight not one of the major options for people? How can that be? Anyway, close enough. I didn’t think it looked much like me so I asked Mr. T and he said it looked freakily like me. Or maybe just freaky, I wasn’t really listening. Anyway, I don’t think it’s much of a likeness but eh. I added the scarf as I’m wearing one most days. Yes, round the office. It’s cold.
Also, I’m trying to fit this writing-in-blog stuff in as I’m on holiday for three weeks on Sunday. YES OH YES BRING IT ON. This is the great American shopping and wilderness adventure we have been hanging out for. I say “hanging out for” and you would assume it was all meticulously planned, right? Oh no. No no no. We just assume these things will happen for us. I don’t know how, because our, ahem, travel agent is currently writing in her blog and eating a chocolate biscuit. (Mint slice!) And then about a week and a half before we fly out, we get all freaked and motivated and start blaming each other and researching and booking shit left right and centre (prompting phone calls from the credit card company – thanks Visa, but if you hold the transaction as I’m buying groceries at Safeway because my last seven credit card charges were for accommodation in the USA, I will look like a criminal and I will have NOTHING TO EAT) and finally we have figured out what we’re doing. Mostly. Four major cities & three national parks in three weeks, is what we’re doing. What? It’s doable. And if anyone tells you that you need to book accommodation in two of America’s most popular national parks months (or years) in advance you can tell them to SUCK IT because I am currently some sort of accommodation booking super-being. Although I am sort of doubtful about my super powers as currently I am freaking the fuck out at the DANGER DANGER BEARS DANGER notices on all the Yosemite photos I’m finding online. Fuck. Bears. I’m not prepared for bears. Mr. T keeps reading out all these internet horror stories to me about tourists leaving one apple in their car and they wake up the next morning to find the front doors ripped off and a gnaw mark in the apple. I don’t need to know! I can live without apples, I swear! We just won’t eat!
So there’s that. Have I started packing? No, although I have dug out a tiny plastic bag in which to pack my liquids and gels (heh, dirty). Have I prepared the house for my friends who are housesitting the whole time we are away? No, they will walk into a pit of squalor, and they will ENJOY IT. Have I completed all my work at work so I can go away feeling free and refreshed? No no oh my god SO MUCH WORK. So, yeah. All continues as normal. How bout you?